


Strangely Ethereal and Sickeningly Normal

by ArtissR0pita



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Humanstuck, I don't, Kind of medieval?, M/M, Renaissance, Sort of ambiguous time period, albino!Karkat, haha - Freeform, ish, johnkat - Freeform, reader's choice?, rosemary, who knows - Freeform, whoo
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-19
Updated: 2015-09-25
Packaged: 2018-04-21 11:19:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4827146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArtissR0pita/pseuds/ArtissR0pita
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Karkat Vantas, the not-damsel in possible distress</p><p>John Egbert, the one who professes that he'll save the day</p><p>In other words, John and Karkat get lost in the forest, find their way out, make assumptions, realise things that they would never have realised without help from our favourite not-really-therapist, and are amazing goofballs</p><p>Amazing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Whoooooooo  
> Well  
> My first written Johnkat  
> I don't really know where it'll be going. Suggestions, mayhaps? :D

"I don't need your help!" The white-haired boy shouted as he stomped through the foliage.

The other lad, slightly taller, with dark hair and blue eyes, scoffed. "Come oooonnn! You totally need help. Besides, you're a damsel in distress, aren't you?" He waded through the mass of leaves and vines after him.

Our first character stopped in his tracks. "Just because I'm wearing this fucking dress, it doesn't mean I'm a girl." He grumbled and continued on his way. "Besides, you don't even know who I am. Why should you be trying to supposedly help me?" A tangled bramble ripped the sleeve of his god-forsaken dress. Eurgh, the troubles. What was the point of this? He finally understood the pain that women had to deal with.

"You mean you're not a girl? Weird. Sorry! I mean, it's just, well, never mind; anyway, Mr Vanilla Milkshake said I'd find a damsel in distress, and you seem to fit the description!" He grinned brightly at the other boy's back. "I'm John, by the way. John Egbert." He pushed his wired spectacles up his nose. He was still trying to get used to them. Who knew pieces of glass could help one see better? He certainly hadn't.

"Karkat. If you must know." Karkat grumbled again, cursing himself for his mistake. Habit. He needed to break it.

John smiled again. "Sooo... Why are you wearing a dress, anyway?" He brushed a vine out of his way.

Karkat continued walking through the leaves (would they ever end?), wondering why he was wearing a dress. "It's a long story."

"We've a long walk," John responded immediately. He was curious, about this strange short boy with white hair wearing a ripped-up dress.

Karkat sighed. This was going to be a long walk. Unnecessarily long, he thought to himself. It would be his luck. He always had the worst luck. This was proven by the fact that he was in the middle of a giant forest, wearing a heavy, torn dress, with what he knew would be an annoying companion following him. It didn't help that he didn't know where he was. He could barely make out the sun through the leaf-heavy branches.

"Frankly, I'm not sure. It just sort of... happened. I guess. Sounds totally cliché, I know. But, I woke up in the middle of goddamn nowhere, wearing this heavy as fuck dress, and have been tromping through here for probably, oh, I don't know, three hours?" He shoved a willowy branch out of his way, letting it slap John in the face as he released it.

"Ow!" John hissed.

Karkat ignored him. "I think the question here should be, how the fuck did you find me? I mean, I've been wandering through here for 180 minutes, and suddenly you show up, professing the fact that you're here to save my life!" He haphazardly shoved through another clump of branches.

John was still upset about his face. "Uhhh, well, like I said, Mr Vanilla Milkshake told me to find a damsel in distress. He's a really strange guy. I, uh, guess he knew where to send me? Who knows! I don't," he chuckled nervously. "Sorry for my life-saving professions. It sounded dramatic. And cool, I guess."

Karkat raised an eyebrow. "'Cool'? In what way does saying that you're going to save one's life give off the impression of autumnal weather?"

John blinked. "It's just a phrase, Karkat! Sheesh." He stumbled through the thick green foliage after him.

And stumbled right into him.

Karkat exclaimed as he was nearly pushed over. He moved enough for John to stand next to him. They had finally reached a clearing. Trees bordered the ellipse, but it was enough space to see the golden sunshine spill through onto the rich green grass. John took the opportunity to get a proper look at Karkat.

He was only a couple inches shorter than him. The sunlight glared off of his shimmery silver hair, giving it a somewhat more yellow glint. His skin was pale, almost achingly so. He could see the light purple veins in his eyelids as he blinked. White eyelashes framed his most startling feature: vivid crimson irises, bright, and strangely ethereal. In this grassy clearing, Karkat almost looked like an elf. Strange, in his too-light everything. His dark gray dress flared as the breeze lifted. The tears in the sleeves were evident, completely noticeable. John was very confused. Who was this mysterious not-damsel in possible distress?

Karkat had also taken the opportunity to see who his new companion was. Instantly, though, he wished he hadn't. He had always been jealous of people who looked normal. This boy was no different. Taller than him (of no surprise), dark, average hair, slightly bluer than normal people's eyes, but that was of no matter. He looked completely normal. And Karkat hated it.

"I don't suppose you know where we are?" He said at last.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which more is learned between our definitely-not-a-damsel and the autumnally-inspired-hero-that-probably-isn't

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Blargh  
> I'm mostly just making this up on the fly  
> If you have ideas of where you want this to go, please tell me?

John blinked a couple of times, prying his bespectacled eyes away from his pale companion. He instead fixed his gaze towards the sky, peering closely through the lush green leaves. 

Karkat sighed. "I'll take that as a no." He ruffled his white hair, unconsciously. He didn't often come out into the forest, so it came as no surprise he didn't know where he was. Everything looked the same. The trees all moved fluidly together, the leaves blending and shifting, obscuring the previous path. 

"I didn't say that!" John protested. He shaded his eyes against the sun as the breeze blew the leaves around again. "When I arrived, it was not yet high noon. So, I'm guessing it's drawing close to evening, which means the sun should be sinking by now. And, the sun always sets in the west! So, if we can properly see the sun, we should be able to find a way out!" He smiled at Karkat, quite pleased with himself.

"You still don't know where we are, though," Karkat glared. "But, whatever. You're right." He chewed his cheek in contemplation. There wasn't quite enough space to see the sun, but, perhaps if he climbed a tree?

It was worth a shot.

That was one benefit to being friends with Nepeta Leijon- she taught you how to do things you never realised might actually be useful. Climbing trees was, apparently, one of them. 

Karkat walked over to a tree across the clearing, checked the branches, and began to climb. His shoes managed to gain traction, gripping the bark easily as he journeyed further up the sturdy oak. Leaves brushed through his hair, neatly combing it. 

Unfortunately, it was as he was far enough up the tree to not be able to jump down safely, that the breeze lifted, and he remembered he was wearing a dress. His cheeks flushed brightly, and he looked down to check that the John person's eyes were politely averted. It was so, and as he looked down, John glanced up at him, his own cheeks tinting pink. 

How embarrassing.

Karkat bit his lip, continuing his climb, trying not to think about his skirt billowing up around his pale, knobby knees. 

And, then, his silvery head burst from the clouds of leaves, drinking in the yellow sunshine. He could see the buttery orb just above the treetops, to his right. Remembering John's words, he figured it must be west. Good to know.

He slithered back down the tree, ready to inform his travelling mate the news.


End file.
